Mother of the Groom Outfit Guide: What to Wear & Etiquette

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Coordinate With the Mother of the Bride First

   Wedding etiquette dictates that the mother of the bride chooses her outfit first, and the mother of the groom selects hers in response. This does not mean they need to match — it means they should be at a similar level of formality and not accidentally choose the same color. Reach out to the mother of the bride (or ask the bride to facilitate) after the wedding party attire has been decided. Share information about: the formality level you are both aiming for, the general color direction each is considering, and whether you are wearing a long or short dress. The goal is complementary, not identical. If the mother of the bride is wearing navy, the mother of the groom might choose champagne, sage, or dusty rose.

2. 2

   Follow the Wedding Dress Code

   Your outfit formality must match the wedding dress code. For black-tie weddings: floor-length gown, formal fabric (silk, satin, chiffon), evening jewelry. For formal or semi-formal weddings: floor-length or tea-length dress, elegant fabric, refined accessories. For cocktail or dressy-casual weddings: knee-length or midi dress, dressy separates, or a sophisticated jumpsuit. For casual or outdoor weddings: a knee-length dress in lighter fabric, dressy pants with a blouse, or a linen suit. If the invitation does not specify a dress code, ask the couple. Looking overdressed is less of a faux pas than looking underdressed, so when in doubt, err slightly formal.

3. 3

   Choose Colors That Complement the Palette

   Ask the couple about the wedding color palette and the wedding party colors. The mother of the groom should avoid wearing the same color as the bridesmaids (it creates visual confusion in group photos) and should never wear white, ivory, or cream (reserved for the bride). Safe, universally flattering choices: navy, champagne, sage green, dusty rose, plum, slate blue, taupe, and silver. Jewel tones (emerald, sapphire, burgundy) work beautifully for fall and winter weddings. Soft pastels (blush, lavender, powder blue) suit spring and summer celebrations. If the wedding palette is neutral, you have more flexibility. If it is bold, choose a complementary tone rather than competing with the palette.

4. 4

   Shop at the Right Time

   Begin shopping 4 to 6 months before the wedding. This gives you time to browse, try on multiple options, order a specific size if needed (many formal dresses require 8 to 12 weeks for delivery), and schedule 2 to 3 alteration appointments. Do not leave shopping until the last month — limited selection, rush fees for alterations, and the stress of not having an outfit chosen will affect your enjoyment of the final weeks before the wedding. Try on dresses in natural light and take photos from multiple angles. Bring shoes at the same heel height you plan to wear and undergarments that work with the dress silhouette. Sit down in every dress you try on to check comfort for dinner and ensure it does not pull or bunch.

5. 5

   Consider Comfort and Practicality

   You will be in this outfit for 6 to 10 hours, including standing for photos, sitting for dinner, walking on potentially uneven surfaces, and possibly dancing. Choose a fabric that does not wrinkle severely after sitting (avoid pure linen or thin silk that shows every crease). Choose shoes you can stand and walk in comfortably — bring a pair of dressy flats for later in the evening if you start in heels. If the wedding is outdoors, avoid spike heels that sink into grass and consider a wrap or jacket for temperature changes in the evening. If you are self-conscious about your arms, a dress with sleeves or a matching jacket solves the problem more elegantly than spending the day tugging at a strapless neckline.

6. 6

   Accessorize Thoughtfully

   Accessories should enhance your outfit without competing with it. Jewelry should be refined: a statement necklace or elegant earrings, not both. A clutch bag that matches or complements your dress color. A wrap, shawl, or pashmina in a neutral tone for warmth during outdoor portions or a chilly reception space. If you want to incorporate the wedding colors subtly, do it through accessories — a brooch, a handbag, or shoes in one of the palette colors. Avoid oversized hats or fascinators unless the wedding is specifically hat-appropriate (garden party, British-style). Your hairstyle and makeup should be polished but not bridal — an updo or styled blowout and natural-enhancing makeup photograph best.

Frequently Asked Questions