Jewish Wedding Planning: Traditions, Ceremony, and Modern Adaptations

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Understanding the ceremony structure

   A traditional Jewish wedding ceremony has two parts that were historically held on separate days but are now combined. The first part, Kiddushin (betrothal), includes the blessing over wine and the exchange of rings. The second part, Nissuin (marriage), takes place under the chuppah and includes the reading of the ketubah, the Seven Blessings (Sheva Brachot), and the breaking of the glass. Between these two parts, the ketubah is traditionally read aloud. The ceremony is typically 20 to 30 minutes and is led by a rabbi, though some couples also include a cantor for musical elements. Reform and secular ceremonies may shorten or reorder elements, but the chuppah, ketubah, ring exchange, and glass-breaking are nearly universal across denominations.

2. 2

   The ketubah: choosing and signing

   The ketubah is the Jewish marriage contract, traditionally written in Aramaic, that outlines the groom's obligations to the bride. Modern ketubot come in many forms: traditional Orthodox text, egalitarian versions with mutual commitments, and artistic interpretations that serve as both legal document and wall art. The ketubah signing (called the Tisch in Ashkenazi tradition) typically takes place before the ceremony in a private room with two witnesses who are not blood relatives of the couple. This is often one of the most emotionally intimate moments of the day. Choose your ketubah early — custom designs can take six to twelve weeks — and decide whether you want a traditional text, a modern egalitarian version, or a completely personalised document. Many couples frame their ketubah and display it in their home.

3. 3

   The chuppah: design and symbolism

   The chuppah (wedding canopy) symbolises the home the couple will build together. It is open on all four sides, representing hospitality and the welcoming of family and community. Traditionally, the chuppah is a tallit (prayer shawl) held up by four poles, but modern couples use everything from floral arches draped with fabric to minimalist wooden structures. The chuppah poles are traditionally held by four honoured guests — a meaningful way to include close friends or family members in the ceremony. If your venue is outdoors, ensure the chuppah is weighted or anchored. If indoors, confirm ceiling height accommodates the structure. Many couples commission a custom chuppah or use a family heirloom tallit, which adds generational significance.

4. 4

   Ring exchange and Seven Blessings

   In traditional Jewish law, the wedding ring must be a plain, unbroken band of solid metal — no stones or engravings — symbolising the hope for an unbroken, smooth marriage. Many couples use a simple gold band for the ceremony and switch to their engagement ring or a more elaborate band afterward. The Seven Blessings (Sheva Brachot) are recited over wine and cover themes of creation, joy, and the covenant of marriage. In many modern ceremonies, seven different guests are honoured by being asked to read one blessing each — in Hebrew, English, or both. This is a beautiful way to involve grandparents, siblings, and close friends. Discuss with your rabbi which blessings you want and who you would like to read them.

5. 5

   Breaking the glass and Yichud

   The ceremony concludes with the groom (or both partners) stomping on a glass wrapped in cloth, followed by guests shouting Mazel Tov. The tradition has multiple interpretations: remembrance of the destruction of the Temple, acknowledgement that joy is always mixed with sorrow, or simply the dramatic moment that transitions ceremony into celebration. Use a real glass or lightbulb wrapped in a cloth napkin — practice the stomp beforehand to avoid the embarrassment of a bounce. Immediately after the glass-breaking, the couple traditionally retreats to a private room for Yichud (seclusion) — a few minutes alone together before joining the reception. This is a cherished tradition that gives the couple a quiet moment to absorb what just happened, eat a small bite (many couples are too nervous to eat all day), and share their first private words as a married couple.

Frequently Asked Questions